I’ve been applying for jobs, and my father said that I should take the word “murder” out of my blog’s title; he’s probably right. I can’t imagine how this profusion of Internet garbage comes across to your typical hiring manager; and the usual debate follows in my mind, more or less the same one since I was six: how much should I “be myself” and how much should I be thoughtful of how others perceive me, since part of “being myself” is wanting ordinary success, ordinary affection, stability, the tolerance of society, etc. I mean: this is all the oldest hat, hat so old it has passed out of and back into style several times since the last time I wore it. This is a top hat. It is a coonskin cap. It is a hat so old your mother really sits around the house in it.
One important rule in life: as explained in several TED talks and elsewhere, reality is composed solely of your expectations, in the form of expectation fields e(f) collapsing into actuality particles a(p), such that it is vital that you walk around like you expect everyone to respect you even when you know —and I know— that you haven’t done anything, not one single thing, in your entire life that’s worth a darn. They will, too: they’ll respect you if you act like you deserve it. But it’s a hard cycle to pump-prime when it’s not working, unless you’re a narcissist.
As an obvious corollary: it’s vital that you not write about looking for work, since no one wants to hire someone who isn’t fighting offers off; and why should they? We’ve all learned our lesson about losers by now, I hope.
But I’m not a loser! I mean: I am in all the ultimate senses, but in the prosaic senses that matter to American industry, I’m quite good; I’m a sound, hardworking, diligent employee. But I can’t really say that; it’s a hard thing to convey: “Hey, I’m one of those people who tends to feel bad about anything suboptimal and to blame myself, not others, such that I work hard and collaborate well with everyone and people say very complimentary things about me!”
No, no: that doesn’t work. Probably need to watch more TED talks.